There once was a girl that was quite good at life,
Was a fairly good friend and a half decent wife.
She worked all day long, which she did pretty well,
And she paid all her bills plus did housework as well.
Her life was demanding.
She struggled for time.
And then one day she spotted a tiny pink line.
And oh what a milestone that moment would be,
What a game-changing, epic and fabulous wee!
And right there, just like lightening, was born “Supermum!”
She did not see it happen, or what she’d become.
So she carried on just as she had done before,
With a side of excitement for what was in store.
But as well as the person she once used to be,
She was also now “Supermum!!”
She would strap on her costume of “Radiant smiles”
And sniff under-cooked egg out at 26 miles.
She could vomit at work and could hold her own hair,
And she’d suck in her bump in her mum underwear.
She’d obliterate heartburn and banish all wine,
And if asked how she’s feeling she’d boldy boast “Fine!”
She would work and be wife and her tummy would grow,
And she’d juggle it all whilst maintaining her “glow”.
She’d deliver her baby with one tiny push,
And unquestioning love would undoubtedly rush.
She would not need the drugs or c-sections of course,
Just perhaps have an aspirin but only by force.
She would laugh in the face of the concept of sleep,
And would never complain – no not one little peep.
Her boobs would of course gush with milk and provide,
And she’d laugh as she’d fling unused bottles aside.
She’d devote every second to handing out love,
Whilst still doing the stuff that’s all listed above.
And the world and it’s judges would watch on impressed,
At this wonderful mum and her being so #blessed.
But what if…
She moos like a cow giving birth,
So she sucks all the drugs up for all that she’s worth?
And what if lactation is not such a win?
And the baby gets fed from a *whispers* formula tin??
And then one day in spite of the
“S” on her vest.
It just might get to lunchtime before she gets dressed?
What if maybe whilst making her child a sandwich,
She let’s slip “FFS!” with her head in the fridge?
And there could be a time when she feels a bit shit,
And so Paw Patrol might be in charge for a bit?
And she’ll shudder with shame as the world is regaled,
Of the time when that parent momentously failed!
…Just maybe she’ll look in the mirror and see,
She IS still the same person she once used to be!
She is still just a human from what she can tell,
And so all things considered, is doing quite well.
She was not perfect then, so why should she be now?
But she’s BEING A MUM, despite not knowing how.
And she’ll maybe f*ck up as she used to before,
But she’s doing her best and so cannot do more.
And she’ll realise as long as they’re loved and happy,
That our kids have no clue as to what we “should” be.
They don’t log onto Pinterest and scour the site,
And they frankly don’t know if we’re “getting it right”.
They just don’t give a shit about all of that stuff.
We’re their people. We love them. And that is enough.
And with that, she shrugged off all the judgmental looks.
And she made it her mission to
Give zero f*cks.
And she’ll say to herself now:
“Hey Mummy. High five.
You are doing your best to ensure that they thrive.
You are not Supermum, but you’re doing just fine!”
And she traded her cape, for a nice glass of wine.
This piece was originally posted on rhymingwithwine.com on 25th January 2017.